Raquelita gives Luna an evil glare. Luna whines and gives her a look that says, “well..”
This whole dying and coming back to life in a urinal trough has caused me to forget the long rift I have had with mi familia.
Since I was a young campesina, my family has been a curse to my love life.
Yip yip (Poor you.)
From the soggy safety of the water trough, the forlorn barmaid and the mangy mutt watch the biggest primo struggle with the banditos and a ninja while practicing his improv technique.
I can’t take it any more!
Luna watches as her one and only partner in crime dashes out to the fight , running exactly like Buddy the Elf in the movie Elf. She ends side by side with the ninja, doubled over and panting from her sprint from the water trough to the fight twenty feet away. The long lost aunt, however, goes un-noticed by the three crime-fighters.
The girl taps at her Iphone while elbowing a bandito at the same time. The third primo stumbles onto a plunger-like device that really has no business being on the set of a Mexican Telenovela.
Did you hear about the horse that entered a saloon……
Nicky slips on a banana peel strategically placed by a production assistant. His feet in the air, he lands square on the plunger, causing an explosion that fills the village square with dust, smoke, fire, and bits and pieces of banditos, ninjas, and Raquelita. Only Los Tres Primos are left unscathed.
Camera cuts to water trough. Only the murky chalupa-tinted water is left.
Yip Yip! (What the what!!!)
Did you here something?
Tigre (sniffing )
I smell Chalupas
Luna chomps down on Nicky’s leg. Camera scans faces: Talea, face as white as chalk, watches the dog try to dislodge her cousin’s foot from his ankle. Tigre’s face cannot be seen because he is doubled over with laughter. Nicky’s face is contorted with pain
Nicky (FInally shaking the dog from his foot )
What the what was that for?!?
Luna (shivering with anger )
Yip! Grrr! (You killed your aunt!)
Talea, who had been scouraging around her purse for the safety-kit, stops dead and drops the purse. Tigre, who had been wiping tears of laughter from his face, lets his hands drop to his sides. Nicky, who had been rubbing his injured ankle, drops to his knees with shock. He gives a high-piched scream that somewhat takes away the dramatics of it all.
Cue screaming violins, then Amor Asqueroso theme music.