Complementary Superbowl edition
by Beth “Gumby” Gamba
Pepino Suave pops up through the trap door in the floor of the stage Madonna performed on during the Super Bowl half time show, disguised as a Bull Fighter and luring her with a cape and a can of Modelo. He puts his cheek to hers in a dramatic embrace while snarling in her ear through gritted teeth that he wants to know the whereabouts of the baby she secretly adopted through the Montage Talent Agency… the baby no one else knows is the love child of Will Ferrell and Big Busted Secretary. Organ erupts loudly as camera cuts to close up of the back of a baby car seat. Camera cuts quickly to gurgling drooling baby swaddled in bright pink sparkling jeweled blanket bordered with boa feathers. Next close up of two white hands yanking baby out of seat. Undraped baby reveals boy baby in mini-Elf suit onesie and a head of curly hair with and an uncanny resemblance to Will Ferrell (rhymes with Purell)!
Cue:Screams from high pitched violins resemble the theme from Psycho.