The Pitch

Friends and Family,
Here’s my pitch:
A Spanish-style soap opera cobbled together by the collaborative efforts of a group of  people.  This proposal is inspired by Lori’s success in the past to have us electronically collaborate on US presidents, geography, etc. As well, the telenovela has become an evening staple in our household, which mocks the drama encountered at the office, at the DMV, and while watching Aunt Kelly “be a cat” during holiday gatherings. 
With the spirit of Lori’s brainchild in mind (no pun. ok, pun), and with the knowledge that the telenovela is a clandestine favorite of any warm blooded American, I urge you to join in this creative effort  – urge your “peripheral penguins”: the Smurfies, Inkies, Pixies, Butches, Goobers, oddball neighbor, Rick Argus, inbred cousin to participate, as well.
Project Working Title: Amor Asqueroso (Disgusting Love)
Your obligation to the project:
When it is your turn in the queue, you must contribute a scene to the telenovela script. The only stipulations are: 1) that your scene flows in some way from the previous scene, and leaves a dangling thread from which the next participant can tie in to their scene. 2) Let’s shoot for one submission each weekend 3)There is no other criteria, beside the fact that your scene should mimick in some way the over-the-top, big-breasted drama of a true telenovela.
Consequence for non-participation:
Attendance to Ink’s First Guitar Recital and attendance to the Zion Lutheran Church’s annual Easter Vigil-palooza – both taking place on the same looooooooooooooooooooooooooong weekend.
You in? In!!!!!!!!! Cool!
Tentative queue (with suggested themes/tips):
Yours Truly (washed-up, middle-aged gringo mariachi star teaches wayward youth (Los Sweat Hogs)
Ink (this is Univision, not broadway. Love you)
Kelly (Cinderella-eque theme. Protagonist wins the heart of a lion tamer).
Talea (J. Beiber camio)
Mom F. (what’s the diagnoses for love?)
Dad F. (may be ghosted)
Lor (remember script must remain at the 5th grade reading level)
Rock (remember spell check)
Holly (older man meets real young rising star in the dog-eat-dog Detroit publishing world)
Abby (sorority girls gone [mildly, sweetly, chastely] wild.)
Tyler (can’t wait – an explosion and a banana-peel-prat-fall guaranteed)
Mike (remember, in any romance scene, each character must have one foot on the floor)
Rose (just as the story-line gets boring, in come the mob wives!)
Becca (Girl meets boy eunuch)
Nick (Have mom look it over before pressing “send”. Then send me your first draft by alternate email. This is gonna be sweet)
Joe D. (“Don Hoser”)
Martha D.
Chris Angelari
*please send me names and emails of friends/family who wish to participate. All are welcome.
** Finished product will be sent to Univision.  Proceeds from the sale of the script will be put in a coffee can, buried in Mom and Dad’s patio 
planter, and not opened until the next occasion for a Pay the Man tournament.
*** The first submission, Scene 1 of Amor Asqueroso, will sent by the end of this weekend.  Don’t worry, it will be worth the wait.
Andale! LET”S DO IT!
El Ensayista,
P. Suave

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