I went to the YPCA for a workout yesterday.Yea, cucumbers workout; cool cucumbers, especially. Anyway, I didn’t even get into the building when my pulse began to rise. I watched as a group of young men jumped into a van parked in a handicapped parking space. They didn’t just jump into the van, they ran, pushing each other and laughing, from the building entrance to the van. What really shocked the gherkin was that there was one one of Pepinoville’s Finest standing at the van writing a ticket. The youth didn’t even acknowledge the officer. The driver put the van into reverse, and began to leave. The officer handed the ticket to the outstreched arm of the laughing driver as the van moved out of the well-marked handicapped space. As soon as the van was in drive, all the windows were rolled down, and all the occupants (without a hint of shame, embarrassment, or regret – heck, they were humored, if slightly indignant that they were seen as not above the law) began to hoot, holler, and mock the civil servant. They sarcastically asked her where the best donuts are, they accused that the officer wouldn’t give the ticket to a law breaker of a different race, they swore, mocked the officer’s size, weight, gender and ethnicity. They drove off.
Call me a dill, but I understand that parking in a handicap space, when you are not handicapped, is illegal. But that isn’t even my reason for being absolutely astonished by what I saw; the lawbreakers instantaneously, like a reflex, saw themselves as the victims. Their most immediate synapse registered oppression, inequity, injustice.
They parked in a handicapped space!
Once the van pulled away, it revealed a small sedan. Outside of the driver’s side door stood a man holding a ticket, flanked by his car and the handicapped parking sign. I wish I had a camera at that moment, because his face showed the contrition and mortification you would expect from someone caught doing something beyond the Bonehead Point on the Imbecile Scale of Idiocy (this scale is trademarked by Bob the Gorilla’s Hey, Jerk, That’s Just Not Right!Warehouse of the Incredulous, available at your local CukeMart stores). Hey, the blushing bonehead was still an idiot for parking there, no compassion from this rattled pickle, but at least he had a reasonable response to doing something unreasonable, if not stupid, selfish, and, again, illegal.
I won’t even get into the issue that is all over the Cuke County newspapers, radio, and t.v.: a local high school principal was assaulted by a student while trying to break up a fight between students. The student’s mom told reporters and police that if her daughter were going to be expelled, than the principal should be, too.
I’ll just let that issue speak for itself. My blood pressure is way too high.
Pepino Sin Justicia