Prima Rubia, the very oldest of all the Sauve cousins, alerted the Pepino Suave Blogsite Editorial Board of Chimps, Rubber Chickens, and Other Lawyers (PSBEBCRCOL) of an error in the previous entry entitled “El Pescador de Frisbees“. It was a ghastly error of omission, made worse by the fact that it slighted a much older cousin of Pepino Suave, the eldest of the Suave grandchildren, the heir to Grandma Suave’s haircurlers: Rubia. In the comments for that wayward entry, amongst Spanish comments produced by translation programs (who is their Spanish teacher, anyway?), was Rubia’s plaintive “call out” for her picnic dish, Ambrosia, a Suave tradition. Seems I omitted any reference to the sticky concoction. Rubia’s side-dish insecurity is unwarranted, our fans realize, as everyone knows a Suave meal includes a mixing bowl heaped with Ambrosia. Es obvio.
Still, the fact remains that this writer, whose keyboard is soley used for goodness, wisdom, and fart jokes, slighted Rubia, a cousin revered by my siblings for her heartwarming family tales about life on a glacier. Rubia, the keeper of family traditions (wrestling with mamoths? What fun it must have been in her youth!). Rubia, whose youthful good looks belie her advancing years. Rubia, if she were a tree, would have more tree rings than a, well, a real old tree.
Dear Rubia, our sage cousin of the youthful good looks, how can we, the good people of Bob El Gorilas Mobile Wharehouse of Yippee Skippee Games, Songs, and Stories make it up to you?
Tell you what, Los Gorilas Ocho and I got together around the kool-aid cooler and brainstormed a solution. Send us a slightly altered version of La Familia Suave Ambrosia recipe and we’ll post it right here on this beloved blog. No, not the original, top secret version etched in a stone tablet and hidden in your brazier, but an altered one. One that will give our audience an idea of our famed Suave tradition, without giving up the entire secret you’ve been guarding since the French Indian War (Tell us again how you translated for the French. Oui?). You know, maybe switch brands of marshmellows. Or replace sliced peaches for melon balls (worked that one in there for you, Hermano Miguel).
Thank you, esteemed Readers, for allowing us to make things right with ol’ Rubia. Our picnic was anchored by her sweet, spongy Ambrosia. Rubia would never forget, regardless her advanced age. My bad.

Me gusta,

P. Suaveson

2 thoughts on “Ambrosia

  1. El Bale of el PepinoLarry: “Miren al pepino”Bob: “Watch the cucumber” Larry: “miren como se mueve”Bob: “see how he moves” Larry: “como un leon”Bob: “like a lion” Larry: “tras un raton.”Bob: “chasing a mouse.” Larry: “Miren al pepino”Bob: “Watch the cucumber” Larry: “que suaves movimientos”Bob: “Oh, how smooth his motion” Larry: “tal como mantequilla”Bob: “like butter” Larry: “en un chango pelon.”Bob: “on a … bald monkey.” Larry: “Miren al pepino”Bob: “Look at the cucumber” Larry: “los vegetables”Bob: “all the vegetables” Larry: “envidian a su amigo”Bob: “envy their friend” Larry: “como el quieren bailar”Bob: “wishing to dance as he” Larry: “Pepino bailarin, pepino bailarin, pepino bailarin”Bob: “Dancing cucumber, dancing cucumber, dancing cucumber” Larry: “Baila, baila, ya!”Bob: “Dance, dance, yeah!” Larry: “Miren al tomate”Bob: “Look at the tomato” Larry: “¿no es triste?”Bob: “Isn’t it sad?” Larry: “El no puede bailar.”Bob: “He can’t dance.” Larry: “¡Pobre tomate!”Bob: “Poor tomato!” Larry: “El desería poder bailar”Bob: “He wishes he could dance” Larry: “Como el pepino”Bob: “like the cucumber” Larry: “libre y suavemente.”Bob: “free and smooth.” Larry: “Pero el no puede danzar.”Bob: “But he can’t … Okay! Stop the music! What do ya mean I can’t dance? I can dance! What about Uncle Louie’s polka party? Didn’t you see me dancing at Uncle Louie’s polka party?” Larry: “No comprendo.” Bob: “No comprendo? I’ll show you ‘No comprendo’!” Junior: “Mom! Dad! Look over here! Get a picture of me next to the cucumber in authentic Argentinian garb!” Dad: “Okay, Junior. But we’d better hurry – I think the dwarves have your mother confused with someone else! Say ‘Peas!'” All: “Peas!” Larry: “Escuchen al pepino”Bob: “Listen to the cucumber” Larry: “oigan su voz fuerte”Bob: “hear his strong voice” Larry: “como un leon”Bob: “like a lion” Larry: “listo a devorar.”Bob: “about to eat.” Larry: “Escuchen al pepino”Bob: “Listen to the cucumber” Larry: “que dulce es su canto”Bob: “oh how sweet his voice” Larry: “la voz de su garganta parece un trinar.”Bob: “the breath from his throat is like a chorus of little birdies.” Larry: “Escuchen al pepino”Bob: “Listen to the cucumber” Larry: “los vegetales”Bob: “all the vegetables” Larry: “envidian a su amigo”Bob: “envy their friend” Larry: “como el quieren cantar.”Bob: “wishing to sing as he.” Larry: “Pepino cantador, pepino cantador, pepino cantador”Bob: “Singing cucumber, singing cucumber, singing cucumber” Larry: “canta, canta, ya!”Bob: “sing, sing, yeah!” Larry: “Escuchen al tomate”Bob: “Listen to the tomato” Larry: “¿No es triste?”Bob: “Isn’t it sad?” Larry: “El no puede cantar.”Bob: “He can’t sing.” Larry: “Pobre tomate.”Bob: “Poor tomato.” Larry: “El desería poder cantar”Bob: “He wishes he could sing” Larry: “fuerte y dulce como el pepino”Bob: “strong and sweet like the cucumber” Larry: “Pero no puede …”Bob: “But he can’t …” Larry: “¡Ni siquiera da un silbido!”Bob: “Can’t even … whistle! All right! That’s it Senor! Come over here and let me sing YOU a song!” Larry: “Adios, amigos!” RC Hammer / Coco Loco

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