Pepinita’s Pepinoville Lighting lost a nail-biter, 7-2, in the last 45 minutes of the game. Not bad for the first game of the indoor soccer tournament. We return you now to our Pepinoville Political Update:
Bushel, in true Machiavelian manipulation, gave the rest area management contract to the the Brussel Sprouts. The local press got wind of it and put it on page 8, buried under a lifestyle piece entitled, “Don’t Pour Out the Pickle Jar: There Are Plenty of Uses for the Juices! “, and all Heinz broke loose. The Sweets, for years accusing Bushel and his cabal of racism, xenophobia, and arrogance, went full tilt against the rest area contract. They marched on main street with placards and shouts, “We are Insecure!”, “Remember the Compost!”, “This Stinks!”, “Civil Right, Civil Shmights, Protect Us!”, “Go Back to Where You Came From!”, and other sentiments unprintable on a blog as esteemed and widely read as this one.
Talk about a one-eighty, Bushel finally got some support for his security message, as well as isolationism, and distrust of Anyone Not Like Us.
Bushel’s plot went so well some Dill insiders predict that Bushel may propose to end all war, everywhere, and dismantle the entire pickle arsenal, hoping the Sweets will finally support more defense spending (the pea catapults are merely plastic spoons).
Bushel may even propose halting the construction of the new PickleMart planned just off the Interstate…
Comun y corriente,