Pepinoville politics heated up this week. The Dill Party (“The Dills”) and the Sweet Party (“The Sweets”) are at each other’s throats again. Actually, it all began with an ironic coup on the part of the leader of the Dills, Bushel. For years his mantra has been security, yet his attempts at protecting his pickled costituency have often been obstructed by the Pickles Sweet. Well, he found an opportunity to get everyone in the same barrel when the contracts for managing Pepinoville’s interstate rest areas went up for bids (the two rest areas, on either side of Interstate 57, are what put Pepinoville on the map). For years the rest areas were managed by a Cauliflower concern out of Weeki Wachee, Florida. Well, the Cauliflowers went bust like their former empire, and the contract was available for bidding this year. One of the bidders was a group of Brussel Sprouts out of Hells Creek Bottom, Mississippi. I am sure our audience is aware of the average pickle’s suspicion, dislike, and thinly veiled contempt of a brussel sprout. For centuries the Cucumber nations and the Brussel Sprout nations have been at odds over the most germain element of each other’s belief system: What is the best irrigation? Brussel Sprouts, of course, are trickle irrigationists, strictly speaking, and Pickles are direct irrigationists, with some splinter groups believing in hydroponics (but they are rarely taken seriously). Anyway, it has been a centuries-old conflict that has become unusually heated with the recent composting of thousands of pickles by an ultra-conservative brussel sprout group called “Moisture or Death”.
Editors Note: This very important Pepinoville current event brought to you by the good people at Pepino Suave International Casa of Yippee Skippee Games, Stories, and Songs will be continued after Pepinita’s soccer game. The ball drops in twenty minutes and the Pepino Suave Express isn’t even warmed up! We gotta go….