It is cold. Had I run this morning, I’d be a pepinosickle. Cars crunch throught the streets, it’s so cold. It’s so cold, we can hear Grandma and Bompa Pepino say, “Eat your frozen hearts out,” all the way from Hurricane Alley. Osama Bin Laden, upon perusing the Cuke County weather report, is quiet happy with his surroundings, it’s so cold. My, there is such a chill the paperboy won’t make it ’till sundown; we’ll be reading the backs of the cereal boxes ’till noon. It’s not just the cold, it’s the lack of humidity. It is so cold, had I left my remaining bottle of genuine Mexican taquila out on the stoop, it mighta’ got slushy. Maybe not. Still, it’s plenty cold. It’s so cold, coffee tastes better. I gotta think Cheney called off the hunt today, it is so cold. Hey, did you hear “Allah” Gore blamed the cold on the U.SA., it’s so cold? The chill forced Brittney to sit her baby under the dash closer to the heat vent. It’s is so cold the Greenpeace spokesperson on global warming had no comment today. It is so cold Ted Kennedy is calling for the impeachment of the President, stating, “It’s so cold. The President’s people knew days before that it was going to be cold!” It is so cold, Pepinita doesn’t want to climb her tree today. It is too cold to garden today. It’s so cold Pepina’s indoor plants got frostnipped. The Pepino Suave Express, an inanimate minivan to some, is leaning toward the Casa de Pepino for warmth, it’s so cold (while Pepina’s Asian Express is housed nice and cozy in the Casa de Pepino’s 1/2 car garage). It is so icy, the Pepinoville librarian seems to have a warm demeanor (still no waivers on late fees. Period).
It is cold.